My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
