First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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