If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize