he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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