There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
