so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It's just like the Real World with babies
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
