I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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