How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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