That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He? As in you personified your dick?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
