This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize