hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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