I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
