I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
