It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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