arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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