ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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