I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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