hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I lost the right to judge tonight
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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