dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
