I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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