He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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