my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
