hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
why is half of my head shaved?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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