You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
