When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
