Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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