Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just threw up on my dentist
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize