Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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