I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
