how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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