Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
