I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize