It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
