I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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