rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
and she was petting her beer can
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
