wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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