I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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