That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
