i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
