Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
