its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
