idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Randomize
