dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
