he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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