my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
