wakey wakey hands off snakey
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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