You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
