There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I could fuck to npr.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
