You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
