I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
