Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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