I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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