I just threw up on my dentist
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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