i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
