Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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