is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
