But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
