sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
