Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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