i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
