I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
