dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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