I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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