Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
