I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
